Santorini is quite possibly the most beautiful place on earth, and taking your kids there is a noble idea. A terrible, noble idea. There are many reasons why you shouldn’t take your kids to Santorini, but I will give you my top seven. Let me help you enjoy the romantic vacation you deserve!
7 Reasons to Not Take Your Kids to Santorini
Bless your heart if you think it’s a good idea to take your kids to Santorini, I know you mean well. You’re trying to be a great parent. Your parents never took you somewhere cool like that, you’re going to show your kids the world! They’re going to love you for it! Ah, but it’s a bad idea. For starters…
7. Everyone Smokes
Everyone smokes in Greece. It’s incredibly annoying. A Greek breakfast? A freddo cappuccino and two cigarettes. Why bother introducing this nasty habit to your kids? Before you know it, you’ll find Lucky Strikes in their backpack, and when you ask them when they started smoking, they’ll say Greece. That’s right, your kids will start smoking if you take them to Greece. Can you really handle being responsible for that?
6. You Can’t Flush Toilet Paper
Holy crap, (hilarious clever pun intended) you can’t flush toilet paper anywhere in Greece. Come on Greece, it’s 2017, get with the program! I don’t want to hear about your 2″ plumbing, just fix it. So your hotel bathroom will be full of crap filled toilet paper, and no one wants that. The less butts in your hotel room, the better. And you know your kids will be getting that crap everywhere. Hmm, maybe I should change the keyword for this post to “crap.”
5. It’s Expensive
Thinking of getting your kiddos a separate hotel room? Well if you’re there in high season, that will cost you a pretty penny. Plane tickets to Santorini are not exactly cheap either. Why not take all that money and use it instead for couples massage, bottles of champagne, and whatever else you weirdos are into.
4. It’s a Long Flight
You are probably facing a very long flight to Santorini, with multiple layovers. It’ll be annoying for you, and downright tortuous for your kids. Don’t you remember those long car rides your parents took you on as a child? Ugh, those were the worst. I think I subconsciously hated my grandparents because of the long car ride to get to their house at Christmas. (not really, Mom and Dad)
3. There’s Not a Lot For Kids to Do
You will arrive in Santorini, and be blown away by it’s beauty. Actually, it’s more than beautiful. It’s freaking magical. Your jaw will drop as you take in the remarkable scenery, and you will look to your children, expecting them to look back at you with the same sense of awe… but they won’t. They will be bored. They will look around, and then ask for the iPad. And that will seriously bum you out.
2. Your Kids Won’t Appreciate It
Kids don’t get Santorini. They won’t see it as you do, because they have no perspective. They can’t grasp how unbelievably lucky they are to be there, or how freakishly beautiful it is. Your kids won’t appreciate Santorini, and they won’t appreciate you for bringing them there. That’s reason enough to leave them at home with Grandma and Grandpa, while you go and have yourself a much needed vacation.
1. You Deserve Some Alone Time
Which brings us to the number one reason to not take your kids to Santorini… you deserve some alone time! You’ve done enough great things for your kids, you don’t have to drag them all the way to Santorini to be a good parent. You deserve a wonderfully romantic vacation, where you have a fantastic meal with a great bottle of wine, looking out at the most breathtaking view in all the world. Do yourself a favor and leave your kids at home. Or maybe better yet, leave EVERYONE at home and come by yourself!! Seriously, don’t take your kids to Santorini. You can thank me later.